Death by cancer can only be something I`ve got to play around with as a concept, as I`ve never experienced it personally, (although I do have friends whose family have suffered the loss of a loved one through this most horrible, insidious of diseases). While I was saddened to see that professional chav Jade Goody has gone to the Big Brother House in the sky (yes, she was an annoying git, but I`d never wish death on anyone, even if they are a stupid, loud-mouthed idiot), it hit me a lot harder to see that Sylvia Plath`s son has taken his own life.
A lot of people who have never had to taste the acrid bile of mental illness will doubtlessly be labelling him as `weak` or `lame`, but the reality is that he died suffering the same kind of pain as Jade Goody (albeit of the mental, not physical, variety). Some of you may know that mental illness is something I have been – and still am – trying to deal with. Thanks to my having a very good, understanding GP (and mental health support team), I`ve got the kind of help I need to get me through the day (I`m a big believer in the benefits of Prozac, in spite of the horror stories that surface from time to time).
The Times reported:
Nicholas Hughes hanged himself at his home in Alaska after battling against depression for some time, his sister Frieda said yesterday.
I`ve been there several times before: the feelings of emptiness; the meaningless and futility of life, and it`s only because of my wife and the professionals who care for me that I`m still here.
…Plath’s suicide in effect froze her children in time….
I can identify with that very closely: although I inhabit the body of an adult male, I`m still a `kidult` (half adult, half kid). I often exhibit very childlike behaviour, particularly when I`m under stress or feel threatened. Moving away from me, let`s look at some scientific evidence that has emerged recently:
Two studies have pinpointed a single gene as key to the development and treatment of schizophrenia.
A US team from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute found that a mutated version of the DISC1 gene disrupts the growth and development of brain cells. (BBC online)
I hope with all my heart that one day research like this will shatter the stigma that surrounds mental illness and allows `people like us` to be treated like humans and not sideshow freaks. I have responded well to medication and it is my firm belief that there is some kind of damage to my brain (perhaps of the neuro-transmitters), that has left me with Borderline Personality Disorder as one of my main diagnoses.
I hated school and university; the Machiavellian world of work was something I was totally unable to make sense of. For years I planned the best ways to repay my tormentors: should I go on a Hungerford-style killing spree, or would it be better for me to sequentially stalk my prey, rushing them with a knife as they passed me in the shadows of the night? Would using my car as a battering ram be an effective method? How about kidnapping them and exposing them to physical and mental torture? All kinds of nasty blood-drenched shit went through my head until I could enjoy the peace and tranquility offered by modern medicine.
I can only hope that while everyone weeps over `poor old Jade Goody`, they might remember that millions of people are fighting a battle against the monsters that dwell inside.
Some of them will lose.
Posted by Miserable Swine 
